Honesty in Awareness

What is art? Good art is honesty, in the safe space of art.
What is poetry? Good poetry is honesty, in the safe space of words.
What is science? Good science is honesty, in the safe space of numbers.
What is music? Good music is honesty, in the safe space of sounds.

Clear? Very.

What other kinds of honesty are there in awareness?
There is plain talking, with no planned or defined form. Just for the point of doing it as it comes and flows consciously. As I am doing right now. There is no point to it at all, it flows from somewhere in my brain and out into the world, for other people to consciously pick up if they wish. There is a vibration around that, at this point in time. It is how I am feeling consciously in a way of learning how things work. Consciously I’m feeling what I have been taught doesn’t work for me, how I learn for myself does. This is how I learn, I throw something out consciously and deliberately into the world, what comes back from doing that teaches me something, always. Even if no one responds, reads or pays attention to what I put out to be found or noticed, I still get to read it later. I’m still learning about myself and what I was thinking at a point some time ago. Then I will notice my own changes and variation, I learn myself in a way no one else can understand me. It’s called decoding and unlocking the self into conscious experience, this is what I am learning as I talk. In the expanding of my thoughts comes the unlocking of what I am truly thinking. Until I start talking, I’ll never know.




The NERVE of endings or beginnings to start, It’s got a nerve as far as I can see. It’s also got a mouth, brain, and heart connected to it all. For some strange reason, I can see beyond all the flesh, muscle or fat, keeping it all in place and stood upright. There in exactly what it is, a skeleton form with parts making it work and parts that can be easily broken. Actually, it is quite weak and vulnerable, in others ways it is strong.

What exactly is it?
It is a matter of life or death in the physical sense. In the conscious sense it goes beyond this way of seeing and thinking about what it truly is. Therefore it is metaphysical.

Get to the point?
Ok, the physical sense of seeing in a material way of life and death bullies the emotional conscious sense out of its conscious experience. The logic of seeing in a material and only physical way tries to blind the individual out of the freedom of experiencing themselves and world beyond physical appearances. It does this so it can experience more physical things coming its way in the conscious world, mainly through money. However, it does profit in other material ways too, that being with many forms of control over all forms of energy. Those energy types vary in the many forms in which they come, logic has an obsession with controlling all forms of energy type. The energy types can be food, oil, emotional energy, ego, water, electricity, nuclear, DNA, love, any kind of input for the output, it will try and control the input from expanding beyond its control. I would like the world to consciously recognise that logic has an emotional problem with control over it. That is all for now, just to consciously recognise it for what it truly is, control over all its energy points, that get to its nerve endings. That will no doubt get on a few people’s nerves, I suggest they get control of themselves. For others, I hope it brings energy freedom.

The Sky Dweller

There to the logic of looking up high
The big eye, looking down from above

To the sea of emotion below
Reigning in on itself, a control out, with focus

Beyond all appearances
It is not high in above, nor below

More the everywhere in everything
The everyhow and every notion or motion
It’s a move
A thought
A whisper
A bang
A thunder
A clap

A knowing
A knowledge
A source
A guide
A reference
A compass
A map
A star
A constellation
A blessing
A curse
A current
A light

It’s an interpretation of …..

there is to know.

Ape Appreciation Club


I can talk to the animals
Even squeak and squawk with the animals
A doctor of do little in faith

I can dance with the animals
Even play and prance with the animals
A regular menace of being in saith

I can draw lines with the animals
Even eat and gather with the animals
A chest-beating gorilla not waif

I can bang drums with the animals
Even drill and bash code with the animals
A swinging monkey, the Galbraith

I can be pious with the animals
Even be biased and lie with the animals
A homo sapien of the interfaith

I can’t pretend with the animals
Will not bend or pose with the animals
That’s the Neanderthal’s pure haith.


Order, Line, Form, Begin


Pen held firm, the line begins
Repeat the practice over
Disciplined in order and control
Repeat the shape til perfect
Stage 1, 2 and 3
Repeat, stop, try again
Master of the form
Practice, practice, practice
Repeat, repeat, repeat,
Stop, look back to the beginning
Measure the distance traveled
How far to go to perfection?
Are you happy yet?
Can you go further?
You’re moving your own boundary
That’s perfection

Obtaining time to make direction

The driver is conscience, the awareness is time,  the need is direction, the time is now for the need to be consciously fulfilled with an answer. It will have to come from beyond to enter within the presence of this time, at a point where we meet in knowing which direction to take. To go beyond in time with sense and some form of order. Does that make sense? If not try going with it for the experience of learning something new, if you like.

The reality of working out direction for the self, the I with the eye of the beholder. Let me study I, the me, the self for this experience to learn within and share also for others to learn. I am in reality a single parent, with 2 children under the age of 12, it is very important that I have direction of where I am going, for I am leading them in life to learn from my example in being. As a single parent, my biggest issue is time, it does not come cheap or easy, I have to make time for the things I consider to be important. At this point in time, I made a decision that the most important thing is to work out my conscious direction in going forward. This decision was made in instinct yesterday, I’ve been hammering my time ever since to get some form of order. It is half term and I negotiated with my mother to have my children for 2 days; so I could buy some more time alone to think and hammer. The deadline is by tomorrow to know my direction for the next 5 to 10 years and work it into existence. No matter what is going on around me or falling apart, that direction will be my total focus in keeping me going somewhere on a track I can navigate around all chaos. There the outline is defined.

So where do I come from and where am I now?
I come from my parents and their experiences and lessons in working out who they are or were. I have a lifetime of observing how they developed working out who they were or became. My mother became a logical special needs teacher, it wasn’t a career she was really passionate about, she wanted to be an author, she has many creative and practical skills she’s developed. My father became an emotional director of common sense in business, he worked in the petrochemical industry and tried to apply ethics. It did to a point drive him mad. His background was in construction and 3D design, he was a very good negotiator in business and common sense. He was passionate about justice and education, sadly he was a bit of a tortured soul when alive. Although with a good sense of humour about life torturing him.

My background is in many variants of the arts, new media, eCommerce, eLearning and project managing technical and creative teams to work well in harmony for the end result. Insights and social awareness is my thing. I’ve ended up here after having children, becoming more conscious and ethical in business, quitting my job, getting divorced and wondering what the hell to do now. After lots of soul searching, metaphysics has become a natural passion and so has education, social systems, emotional freedom, and ethics.

Where can I go in a direction that makes some sense?
Written a lot of poetry in the past 24 hours to work this out, that is my thinking process that works for me. Been for a few drives to random places, walked, read, observed and pondered, made a lot of notes too, which I’ll try to pull into order and logic now.

The direction will be:  directing the teaching opportunities of the variants available for reading and interpreting data with emotional meaning, not numbers or logic.

How will that direction work and be applied to experience?
Being a director of teaching variants in how to see and speak more openly, also to read and interpret data with emotional meaning. The insight and communications are life skills in surviving all times when logic does not apply. There is no argument with logic, just an alternative offered in free education, to address the balance of varied human needs. There is a need, there is a balance that needs to be addressed and catered for intelligently, in these times of survival for emotional needs. Especially when the logic is falling apart socially at all levels and very much affecting people emotionally with their direction in life.

Where will I go now with my new direction?
Now I have my direction figured enough to make a decision of going with it somewhere, it’s a big open goal, the challenge is to make it happen for myself. There will no doubt be lots of failure in finding a route to success, that’s called learning. I practice openly what I share to teach in survival when logic has failed me emotionally. I needed some direction in my life, I now have it and a basis for directing the teaching of it to others. The variants are open in how I will achieve some kind of order to follow this outline of direction. But at least I’ve figured out some sort of sense in which way I am going forwards. There is not much more a person can do right now in such uncertain times.

The argument for & against reasoning


With good reason, I’ll argue with myself in the for and against of logic and emotion arguing over good sense. This is not a personality disorder, quite rational, in the sequence of thinking for oneself with their own mind. More a demonstration of how the natural process works beyond only logic thinking and teaching. There is something called projection involved, this is the metaphysical part of the being in human. As always, it goes beyond the self and the logic seeing in existence.

Territory, something physically and emotionally fought over in many ways. Land and resources being something fought over at the top level in societies, this logically drills down to a local level of fighting over parking spaces, gardens, fences and where the bin should be placed. Truly thrilling stuff. It gets a bit more varied and interesting on the emotional level, love or territory over people. Men fight a lot throughout history in physical, emotional and intellectual reasoning over territory. Whether it be an idea, a way, a woman, a sporting team, business or general offense. Trust and loyalty is a big topic that men seem to fight over.

Then women, how do they differ in some kind of generalisaton of observations? Women fight a lot over men, again a territorial and emotional thing. Women fight over children a lot, namely in competitiveness of who can produce the most talented child, again an extension of their territory and ability to produce. Women also fight a lot over style, they do not like to have their style copied if they spend a long time working on it being unique. However, they are happy to share tips on their style if they are in control of others accessing it.

My internal fight is with logic and emotion over reading these situations in entirely different ways. I see variation as a part of being human, in expressing itself and growing to learn who and what it is in nature. I see this as a natural process that requires nurturing and quite a lot of freedom and trust in the individual to work out who they are. Logic on the other hand, seems to like drilling sense into the individual to think, act, respond and see the same way as everything else. I see it as oppressive, restrictive, blind, bullying and totalitarian in a subliminal way. Although I understand and comprehend the point of logic, rules, boundaries and guidelines to help form order in chaos with laws.

When it comes to personal territory there is a space I’m very protective of, that being the conscious part of the mind. The conscious territory of my mind does not like logic drilling it with ‘know how’ in how to see sense straight. I see this as a breach of my human cognitive and intellectual property rights, my DNA, personality, speech, expression, style, form, opinions, beliefs, tastes, everything that makes me who I am in nature. Right now I’m projecting my thoughts on this subject beyond who I physically am in presence, what I am sharing and recording is my metaphysical sense. At the same time, I can feel myself growing in who I am designed to be, it’s a really nice process in freedom. It goes beyond me, and I can catch up with who I am becoming in nature because I expanded my reasoning for myself.

The internal argument was to demonstrate to others and myself the point of emotional teaching as equal to logic. Really it is not for or against, it should work in harmony as equal. Can logic see or feel the point of this making good sense?



New Age Turbulence


Grey in silvered, for a sound so rare
Honesty so lacquered, stiff as wired hair
A syrup stolen, a Trump beyond compare
Dichotomy totalitarian, everyone beware

Rich as fruit, slickened in beeswax bliss
Mind your own, pardons, serpentines hiss
Coiled in persecution, judges never miss
Values all forgotten, blind witness to this

Never ending sagas, no Lilly to a pond
All rights bargained, burning every bond
Sliding mirrors, just before a respond
Weaving territory, wave a magic wand

Booming in distance, freckled little noise
Distorted tiny rumbles, beyond little boys
Pounding in motto, the ethic employs
An upcoming wisdom, someone enjoys.



What am I here for?
What is the point in living?
What am I here to do with myself?
What am I?
What am I supposed to be in nature?

I’m sure, damn sure, it’s not to make other people rich or have a life of no meaning. If I was rich my life would have no meaning, I don’t rate money that much. All it can do is buy things to pass the time, with no meaning. I grew up with many rich people, their lives had little meaning. Never appealed; knowledge and freedom did. Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate or respect money, I do, but there is only so much it can buy.

I see all these things and people around me in my experience, like a kaleidoscope on routes. Going places, somewhere to somewhere else, then back home, then out again. Moving, shifting, shuffling, some seem to keep the same familiar routes, others want different ones. I’m stood there observing it all, as it moves and passes by. All oblivious to me seeing.

There are patterns and variations, I see women from far places here in a cold rainy land. I see I’m white and suited to this climate. I see they are darker, all covered up in material. That is their religion, but there is a person underneath, it must desire some similar things to the ones not covered? How did that person get here and why would they be interested in a cold, rainy climate? I like the rain, I like the cold, the sun too, the bitter wind by the freezing sea. I know I’m meant to be here. But what for? What to do?

I don’t belong in the heat, I burn, it makes me unhappy, tired, hot, bothered. By the sea is fine, for a while, but home is where it is cold. Then I think of slavery, moving people from their home lands, to take something from somewhere and put it somewhere else. To mix it up and put it out of place, what is it supposed to become? Leave it there and dump it, it will be abandoned, no idea of why things don’t make natural sense. How cruel, thoughtless, unintelligent and wrong. Everything has to belong and know why it exists. It is natural order.

Then I think of wars, war after war after war. Killing, killing, killing, knowledge gone, culture gone, sense gone, knowing gone, habitats gone, music gone, language gone, family gone…voids, identity, holes. What’s left? Machines, war museums, fragments of art or culture from around the world. I think of my relatives who died in wars, I think of all they knew, who they loved, what they loved, who they wanted to be. Did they want to be used for killing people for me? The future, the yet to come. Because I’m here now thinking about them, seeing other people, seeing the machines still standing, advancing to killing more. I see the machines are still here, only I can’t hear the sounds they made when they were alive working them. But if I listen hard enough I can imagine, du du du du du, sirens, chaos, alarms. Who organised that orchestra of sound?

What was my experience of freedom? A TV, watching life through a screen of how it should play out. Talking fruit in adverts, bears talking about kindness, Coca Cola – always, cartoons, Santa, comedy sketches, some random weirdo commentating on decorating a home, home shopping – a thing being rotated with a light to make it sparkle. Religion and songs of praise, a Queen’s speech – what is this world I was viewing through a box? Fruit doesn’t talk. It’s bloody madness, what was it teaching me to be? That thing was switched off a long time ago. I’ve been thinking and observing for a while.

There are graves, there are machines, there is the TV with a plug. That TV is a machine too. I look at that TV when not turned on, it doesn’t do anything. Yet my mind, that is still on. When out I hear people talking about a lot of TV. I see a lot of magazines about TV. I go back to the war museum. I look at those machines again. I go back to the graves. That mind, it is still on. It is still seeing people from foreign lands. I see the cars, the petrol, I smell the fumes. OIL…..I see cars on TV, cars are machines. They have a human driving them. MACHINES….du du du du du, sirens, chaos, alarms. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, overtaking, get out of the way, sirens, alarms. Humans and machines, driven by oil. Driven by oil, humans and machines. Who organised that orchestra of sound? The drilling, the talking fruit, the home shopping, the religion – my mind, my poor mind.

At a point I was driven by oil to the cold bitter sea. Just to drive to the edge of this island. There it was before me, water, waves, sound crashing and life. Thank God it was there. There I stayed a while, watching, observing, it moved, it was not plugged in, it had a pattern that made sense. I spoke to that sea, I had a question. “How do you know what you are doing? You look so in control of yourself.” It ignored me, it kept on moving in time and tune with itself. I observed. I asked myself a question “why are you talking to the sea in jealousy of being in control of itself?” I answered, “I feel lost, I was hoping it might answer me with direction.”

I’ve been thinking ever since, hard, like the sea. I’m driving myself, only now conscious of it, there is no plug, so what am I connected to? Answers that come out of nowhere. I’m consciously driving those answers with questions. Only I ask the question first, the answer comes back out of nowhere. Where is nowhere? It’s beyond me, just like the sea. In the sea I have to swim, but where will I go? Fishing for answers. Then my questions must be the conscious direction of learning to swim. Maybe my purpose is to see that I am driven to ask questions? That is how I lead in direction of learning to swim when lost. There is a purpose to that, it has some meaning. Without questions I am never lost, the answers are guiding me somewhere unknown, beyond me.


Lesson in TRUTH

(Out of sheer need to create some)
eye-shut-openWe are what we are in seeing
The believing is in that of truth
Truth is a variant of change
Change is the coming of time
Time is the existence of change
Change is the variable of time
Truth is a variable of existence
In time we see change
The truth is we are blind

Time, change, truth and existence
Coming from beyond
How will we know until struck?
It comes from beyond
To meet us in time
Only knowing when we get there

That is the coming of time
Are we open to change?
That will be knowing existence
Open to a variant of truth
Always coming, always changing
Constant in an infinite way

There the truth does not lie
Being ahead of time to answer
We will never know
Until we ask to see more

Faith brings the answers
Running back from time
Calling for the knowledge
We meet later to know
Having to question first

In truth that we are blind
This is where we see
Our faith brings the answers
Knowing to question blindness

The truth reveals itself
Answering where blind
When we see the truth
We question blindness again

The blinking of the eye
The cover on the lense
Shutters and speeds
Always blind and seeing

It should observe itself.