To hurt oneself…the logic

Honesty with oneself, a wisdom that takes time when surrounded by logical advice. Honesty is emotion and conscience talking in nature, it goes beyond logic seeing. Can I be honest with myself in conscience? Yes, I can see many things in the light of comparison and shade, when holding myself in comparison to other things with own logic. I can admit to myself I’m average looking, seen better and seen worse. Logically of average intelligence, in emotional probably higher. Definitely, I have an ability to see things others can’t see so fast when reading a situation, it’s called social awareness. Common sense grounds me, it is a strength. My temper is probably the biggest flaw, making for a lack of patience. Determination to understand counter-balances this flaw, with a willingness to learn from rash mistakes. There are things I can do others can’t, there are things others can do that I can’t, that’s ok. In the honesty it’s obvious I’m far from perfect, never will be, yet nature made me this way for its own reasons, who am I to question the logic of that? I don’t know why I was created this way, seems more intelligent to accept it, those were the cards dealt for my existence.

Now, if I were to lament over what I was or was not dealt, that would lead to something in emotion, hurting myself with pain. At that point of logical thinking, there would be no respect for nature, if anything I would be working against nature in harmony. Trying to understand why I was not chosen to be something that I am not, that would lead to madness. For the reality is I was made this way on purpose, the intelligence of why goes beyond me. Yet there is a connection to that intelligence in conscience, I have a conscience, for I can see beyond me in what else has been made consciously of itself. That strength in seeing things faster than others, maybe mine is conscience? For I can see when others are hurting themselves in not being satisfied with what nature designed. Not only are they not satisfied, they will shame others for not being enough also. I will shame another if it’s is not satisfied with me because I too can compare it to something that has other strengths. Conscious this is a hurtful act, but why accept someone attempting to make me resent nature? The respect for nature is a lot greater than any human opinion offering it’s version of intelligence, for nature goes beyond anything they know.

To stand back and outside of oneself in this petty relay of comparisons, there is something else to see. People are not seeing themselves in nature at this point in time. The honesty is not there, neither is the connection to conscience. What is there is a lot of logic about how things do and should work in nature, this is achieved through comparisons of seeing with logic. The result is people end up hurting themselves for not being what is pointed out about what they are not in nature. This creates a wonderful selling tool to market to them on achieving what they are not, so they can feel better for existing. Not an ounce of love in this act of selling, just barbaric control of human emotions. There is not enough that a human could buy to complete them in nature. Yet to accept their conscience as being enough to guide them on why they were created to exist, a solution never taught. As far as my flaws go there is one thing that saves me, I know consciously I can always improve my understanding of why I was created to exist. This is a power and understanding no one can take away, so long as I remain conscious of who I am and what I was intended to be.

Out of any love for humanity, this wisdom and learning is shared for free. To observe people hurting themselves for not being enough, then to kill other humans to buy what they need to be enough in existence, my conscience can’t remain silent. The truth in all honesty, you were already born perfect with the balance of being flawed, only nature knows why. Logic is blind, see it for what it truly is, a human needs healthy emotions to survive. Stop hurting yourself for others, they profit from it, that’s why the world is messed up. The choice is yours in will to respect nature’s design, it comes from within to see beyond the logic seeing. That’s why you have a conscience, you’re metaphysical, nature’s design is amazing.


Blind, beggar or slave in time?

(Brilliant cartoon work by  Medi Belortaja )

The story of Sisyphus in Greek Mythology

Sisyphus was a sinner condemned in Tartarus to an eternity of pushing a boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down again, then have to push it back up. That was the only future he was ever going to know in existence, in penance for his sins.

He was founder and King of Corinth, known as Ephyra before his rule. His reputation expanded in fear of him, for being the most cunning meddler on earth. Towards the end of his life, with all his acquired intelligence, Hades a god from the kingdom of the dead arrived to claim him. Hades brought handcuffs, bemused by observing such a new device, Sisyphus with his natural interest in oppression expressed much interest. Hades, distracted by the meddler’s interest, was persuaded to demonstrate their use on himself. How cunning Sisyphus was to trick a god.

What happened next to Hades? The great lord of the Underworld was entombed in a closet in Sisyphus’s home, like a cocooned moth. Such an act destroyed all balance in nature, no one could die with the god enslaved. Such power resting in the hands of Sisyphus. A soldier could die in battle, yet still arrive home for supper? The immortal weapon was released.

Eventually, Hades was released into the light, taking charge, immediately he summoned the tyrant to complete his eternity in the Underworld. Prior to this Sisyphus had ordered his wife to create propaganda for his release with Persephone, Queen of the Dead. Spotting a loophole in logic, she could raise a complaint that his funeral had not been served with honours. As a figure of prestige, it is only fitting that his burial should occur on the far side of the river Styx, and his wife had not placed a coin under his tongue to ensure safe passage with the ferryman Charon. It was surely an obligation of the Queen of the Dead to address this balance of wrongs? There was obviously no benefits fraud occurring.

Logically this made utter sense and once again Sisyphus was back in the land of the living, untouchable by death. So very pleased with his wit, he forgot all about his dealings, kept calm and carried on in his ways. Then nature combined forces with the Gods sharing stories on him, unaware they wiped him from behind one day. Hades came back with vengeance, he was hauled to an eternity of madness and hard labour. Forever he would be enslaved to push the back breaking boulder up the hill, only to know it would roll back down again.

A pattern that happens often in the field of observation

I’ve been accused many times in my life of being deluded or lying or just causing trouble, those accusations have been fired with a lot of anger. Then followed by verbal attacks on my character, honesty, looks, personal situation, gender, colour, beliefs, material status, relationship status, personal circumstances and age. Only to have the same people later come back to me with either an apology or a casual laughing it off with “we all make mistakes”. Great, thanks a bunch.

Maybe these people should recognise that I can see faster than them and in more detail? In fact, I’ve spent many years educating myself via the arts to observe accurately and in detail with speed. To look at objects, situations, and phenomena in depth, to question in detail how they form and are made up. It is not a case of wanting to be a ‘know it all’, it is a case of being a scholar of the observation. If a person learns the arts properly they should have good instincts for reading a situation quickly and accurately, in order to capture what they are seeing at speed. An artist is not just someone who can draw accurately at speed what they are seeing before them, an artist is quick at observation and capturing much detail. How they record that detail varies according to their emotional, logical and physical abilities. I don’t like to call myself an artist, or a scientist, for I am somewhere between the two consciously. But I do learn via observation, the more I learn, the faster I get at observing. The skill increases in exactly the same way that an athlete works out, they become stronger in their field of discipline.

Yet the field of observation is not actually recognised for what it is. The field is insights, not just analysing data for insights. It is observing data from many different inputs in nature, in order to build a clear bigger picture from all the detail harvested from a wide range of inputs. The bigger picture offering insights will then be more accurate. It should not offend people or upset them, my eyes are merely a camera and my brain the processor of the insights. I do have the ability to detach from what I am seeing and still apply my own personal interpretation. Observing is a skill, sometimes it does take time to catch up to the speed of what someone else is seeing, especially if they have been trained to record detail at speed. This is something we really ought to be teaching in schools, we all record observations at different speeds, with different lenses and varied focus. We never all see the same, there are only outlines, shapes & general details we see in common, we have to point out the specifics of what we capture in honesty and awareness. Otherwise, no one will see them, we will all think that we see the same. We do not.

Every day a new threat

Saturated is the market on threats, well we all die eventually anyway. Debt threats, health threats, threat of offending, terror threats, acceptance threats, law threats, abuse threats, threat to the threat of giving a threat. Should one close the curtains now and quiver under the bed? Or be conscious that everything they do will upset someone and they need to control that? Or see the market on threats for what it is? SATURATED. I’ll conclude then that our existence is endangered and we may not survive.

So be it, what can I do? Become another campaigner for spreading news on the threats? Or talk to myself about some solutions in honesty? It will keep me sane to remain honest amid the campaigning on threats. It is impossible to take them all in, collectively they read that the world is falling apart and so we must repeat this. Why? What good will it do if no action is taking place? The market is saturated with horror stories, they bounce off the saturated minds. Those minds are not educated to cope with change anyway. The only thing that helps those minds is to offer a solution to the threats. Yet any solution offered has risks of failure, nothing is certain.

When I remain honest I remain conscious, the things I want to remain honest about are risky because they are all about the threats. If I were to bring someone into my consciousness on taking risks it would not be fair nor ethical. For I know how far I want to go and it doesn’t have a limit, only ethics to guide it to a boundary. So it is more ethical to speak to and for myself, allowing anyone the freedom to follow if they so choose. Then they can’t be blamed for what I do or say. The responsibility for what I deliberately create is entirely on me. The responsibility for what their will chooses to do or say is entirely on them.

What I share in honesty is that I am conscious of the threats and this is the way I cope, by remaining conscious and honest, then they don’t saturate my mind with fear. It is a version of sanity and self-protection to keep my mind sane, yet viewing reality at the same time. It works like mirrors through a camera lense, what I see I talk about in honesty, then I detach from the view of what I see, then I give my own perspective to the view from where I stand. It is a mirror-back through the lense of seeing. The view comes in, it is assessed, it goes back out again, having been processed for accuracy from my perspective of reading. It becomes my version of reality, when honest with myself I know it is different from how anyone else will see it. Yet there will be others who see close to what I see and others who don’t. That is the spectrum of seeing reality. If I were to take drugs to make me see the same as everyone else, that is reality lost. That is what I fear in honesty, that reality is being lost to the threats in making them all want to see the same. It is utter madness to control or even think about organising, hence detaching in the wisdom of offering honesty and how it works for seeing reality from one’s own perspective.

What is a sane human?

An honest one, one that says exactly what they see without fear of anyone else agreeing to it or seeing it. They are entirely in control of their own projections and can see that everything they see if entirely from their own perspective of standing. For they can see all the eyes are different and will logically and emotionally see differently. Yet there will be points where the vision crosses and the perspectives will agree on seeing the same things.

If a human is not honest about what it sees, that is entering a state of delusion cognitively, for it is altering its own reality with a complex disorder of what it is seeing. When humans start agreeing on what they don’t see, that is the disorder of chaos. That will lead to insanity, for the vision of reality is altered.

When humans are not honest on a mass scale, that is an altered sense of reality that will lead to insanity, for the state of delusion will have to tell itself it’s real. An altered projection of seeing cannot be held permantly in the mind, it has to believe what it is consciously seeing.

Through my eyes

Without using pictures, I’ll paint it in words, the world exactly as I see it. I see variation everywhere and I see it hidden and exposed. The waterfalls, to the glaciers, the stars to the rings in puddles, echoing when rain drops. The sea moving in and out, it’s breathing. Everything stretches to the sun competing for light,  basking in its warmth. The fields sway when the wind blows as if an orchestra plays their tune. Ants march in line with orders, following commands as a team.

Every flower is perfect in form, there is not a shape that has not been designed. All the colours match, with textures and tone, so intricate their genius is unmatched. They come out of a seed or bulb, containing all the intelligence within. When crushed they make perfume and medicine.  When a tree is cut, it can make houses, chairs, picture frames, bowls and paper aeroplanes that fly. A tree has the ability to fly, when cut down, folded and pushed into the air. Not only fly, it glides. It can also make music, forming a piano to a violin or guitar.

Everything we make comes from nature, everything we are is nature, not one of us is the same in creation. I hear people talk all day, I see them promoting their news, I see people look at me, I see people lie, I see people tell their truth,  I see them smile, I see them hate, I see them ignore. I see them poison, kill, rescue, crash, heal, judge, shame, blame, accuse, make, mend, grow, paint, cook, dig, pray, destroy, read, discover, juggle, dance, entertain and love. I see a lot of things, but I don’t see them notice nature very much. I see them assume it’s just there, like it has no credit, it’s everything they have and need. It provides everything they are and can do, without it they don’t survive. That thing called nature.

Then I see science, I see some people created these things called atomic bombs and nuclear weapons, that have the ability to destroy it all in seconds. They call this intelligence and power and no one is shocked. Some people actually consciously went to work on the ability to destroy our survival, rather than thinking talking would be better? These people get certificates and awards for this intelligence. I question if those people are clinically insane and need locking away from society. Their minds are so dangerous, they should never be released into nature. What have these theories done to human minds? Blinded them with logic and violent education, if that is being human maybe we should not survive? For our stupidity is unforgivable and no sympathy is due. If it is rude to point that out, I’m the last sane human left on Earth, make the ending quick for I don’t want to see the results. I have no shame in being wise, nor being a woman talking. The science makes people sick in the head, due to observing how far it will go to win prizes of recognition for having no self-control or emotions. To conceive the idea and teach it on destroying or replacing humans, when it itself is human, there is something wrong with that human, it can’t feel conscience or nature. If anything it’s a freak out of control and people are scared to stop it. It does not scare me, I know it cannot survive for much longer. If it takes me out, who cares? I’m just a number. Those who follow it will be taken down with where it lead them to go. May it lead them, I had my say on feeling sense.

I’ll keep working on my version of science until I die, for I’ve accepted I have no control over what humans do or agree to. But never will I agree to that being intelligence or sane, neither will I remain silent on addressing it for what it is emotionally…disabled.


The packaging BLEEDS, even with technology wrapping it


In an attempt to communicate to humans beyond only seeing money as sense, I’m reduced to showing a bag of defrosted meat bleeding. Why? The mirror – back relay to the delusion that seems to happen in the human brain, when too much logic is applied to how it learns, functions & lives for progress. This is in no way blaming humans or indeed Westerners for the education they share, it is an attempt to reach out to their better judgment to wise up quickly and see.  Sadly shock treatment is the reduction communication comes to when they are so distracted in their environment by media.

The meat in the bag came from a cow, the cow might have been slaughtered and reared in terrible conditions to keep prices low on the meat. The meat was frozen by technology developed to keep it edible for longer. The bag is made of plastic, oil is used to create plastic,  a supermarket giant brand packaged the cow, they do not study nature, they are interested in profits via selling food. A farmer reared the cow & slaughtered it, they will give the cow all sorts of drugs to keep it free of disease for human consumption. The government has been reduced to assisting farmers with their farming, the supermarket giants keep squeezing down their profit margins to make more money. Farmers have a labour intensive job, they have to constantly tend nature to create yields, there are no days off in their business.  The profits keep being reduced in this model, the running costs keep increasing, reaching a point of why should they bother? Pretty much how I am feeling right now.

I have two dogs, brother and sister, they are 18 months old. They are domestic pets, but I also use them to study behaviour in nature.  Constantly running ethical experiments on them to learn. I don’t have a lab, nor do I receive funding for my self-taught studies. I also learn empirically and am against inhumane animal testing that inflicts cruelty on the animal. However I do eat some meat and they require meat as part of their natural diet, they are hunters in nature. It would be cruel to deny them what they naturally go after.  They have been tested with all kinds of food available for them, plus alternatives to see how it affects their behaviour. Tinned & dry dog food makes them more aggressive & addicted in studies. The frozen meat defrosting was left on the side too long, due to my human error and blindness in distraction. I have been too busy studying human cultures in order to understand cultural blindness that exists today via media propaganda.  Such blindness and education leads to war in history, it has a definite pattern, that pattern is trending right now, it is distracting me with studies. The result, I neglected my dogs in nature of being human.

The meat bleeding through the packaging was the sign needed to be conscious of my actions & awareness. Should I leave the blood unattended and the meat it will start to harbor disease in my environment. My dogs will also starve from neglect, last night I gave them tinned food to save time, this morning they are being more aggressive towards each other. I don’t even know if the meat is ruined now, I’ll have to open the bag to smell it in nature.

This is the conscious awakening to my human actions.

What’s happening in the EU? Part 2 of instinct-led learning

I wrote a lot on Twitter in the past 24 hours, using professional tags intended for human progress. Those being #opendata #smartcities #bigdata & #ai. Those are my natural interests in progress for humans via that social platform, intended for connecting humans via shared interests of intelligence. No doubt I will have infuriated some humans for my compulsions to expand my will to be heard. I am within my rights to do so within anything deemed a democracy, they are well within their rights to block, mute, ignore or listen, should they choose to do so. It is called ‘free will’, it does exist and is a human right. I also respect their wishes, should they choose to switch off from or connect with anything I say.

It has reached a point where I barely look at who follows or unfollows, for I can’t emotionally read their reasons for connecting in the first place. Those who want to judge can, why would it affect me? Wise enough to know better than to be that petty, small-minded or prejudice as I age. Instead, I’ve taken to simply talking as consciously as one can in trying to get their points across, about what is important to them. It means nothing more than this. No one really knows of metaphysics nowadays, no one really teaches it seriously or values its input for smart ethical conclusions, based on an emotional reading of phenomena. If I don’t put awareness of its value out there, who would even know of its insights?

My only wish when learning at school was to have a decent teacher, to inspire my natural gifts. Sadly no such teacher existed, I’ve always had to teach myself anything I wanted to know, that satisfied my curiosity with an in-depth explanation. One that never breaks when tested.  When it doesn’t break, it is closer to being accurate. Most theories break when put to the test if questioned thoroughly.

That is the logical and emotional reasoning for such an approach….back to the self-led learning…Part 2

Before releasing the break-down analysis of the Farmers Weekly magazine, dated 20th January 2017, it made sense to stop with progress and go back to history. There were holes in the logic of continuing with studying the present, for it emerged I was conscious of my own ignorance. That ignorance being cultural, Spain and Russia, these cultures were never taught thoroughly at school. In the present, Spain is one of Britain’s main suppliers of tomatoes and many salad related imports. It emerged they have been suffering from severe flooding for over 2 years affecting their environment, economy, and ability to produce exports that importers rely on for survival. It also emerged they are getting no assistance from Britain and Britain is offending their leaders culturally via press & open debates with total arrogance. Britain is barely reporting on what happens in Spain via their media, yet are heavily reporting on EU arguments to remain or leave?

Next emerged issues with Russia, tangled in this breakdown in communications with Spain. Russia has been suffering economically. The EU imposed economic sanctions on Russia’s banking, oil and defence sectors over its annexation of Crimea in 2014, and support for eastern Ukrainian separatists. Ukraine is not part of the EU, relations are currently shaped through the EU Neighbourhood Policy. Ukraine is a priority partner, however, Russia is a force to be reckoned with in making such alliances or enemies?  How did relations get so bad in history that the EU must absorb all conflicts without asking the public of the EU whether they wish to get involved? Britain has enough issues to resolve with what our government historically did to Africa, Nigeria especially first. There is a long list of priorities and human rights abuses in loyalty that comes before Ukraine. Ukraine is a new issue being absorbed, creating more complexity, on top of unresolved human rights issues. Not that I don’t think the EU should help, the people that require urgent help need to be prioritised appropriately within some form of fair democracy. This is not a democracy, this is some form of muted dictatorship assuming the public are too daft to decide for themselves.

Russian government decided on Wednesday 29th June 2016 to prolong a ban on EU imports from August, until the end of 2017, in RETALIATON for the EU sanctions over Ukraine. This all coincides strangely with the Brexit? Also with Britain being blamed for affecting the EU trading slump, in our selfishness to want to leave. Yet we were asked if we wanted it, with 2 strong campaigns going to make us choose. Both campaigns we’re playing on different emotional cards to win the vote. There was no easy or clear debate, it was in or out, a tough choice of repercussions either way. The choice was, which would be better in the long run? THERE WAS NO MENTON OF THIS EMBARGO & SANCTIONING, I’ve only found it through instinctual research because I want decent answers.

“Within the result of this embargo and economic sanctions divide, trade between Russia and the EU dropped by over $180 billion between 2013 and 2015.”

“Together with slowing Chinese demand, Russia’s embargo has put pressure on an already struggling EU agricultural market.” – EurActiv  – source

The EU-Russia trade war has severely impacted the Russian economy, with food prices increasing and quality declining. Exactly the same is happening in the UK, our NHS is severely suffering the consequences due to our economic hardship. Pan-European farmers are claiming that after the Russian ban, EU farmers and agricultural cooperatives lost their main export market overnight worth €5.5 billion!

Russian culture is win-lose, never win-win. This is lose-lose in order to win honour for being dictated to, they will absorb the hardship with pride, it is part of their culture to do so. As I have learned from studying their culture now. EU should and maybe does know this, result is everyone else must suffer within the EU for helping Ukraine, even though they are not part of the EU? Also, no one within the EU is openly talking about this on a large scale? Neither is the media. If you really want a true account, my neighbours on the left of my property are from Ukraine, both speak excellent English, they sent their daughter to the same school as mine, she did not speak a word of English on her first day. They said “she’ll pick it up” – the teacher had to show her flashcards to get her talking English, which meant she was not teaching the rest of the class. Paying taxes does not mean you can abuse the benefits of education they allow. If you want a private education in the UK you must fund it yourself, as I informed them. It did not go down well. This kind of abuse is everywhere in the UK, I hold no prejudice towards them when so many do it.

To be extended further – needing to break this up into smaller chunks. Part 3 will follow.
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Instinct led learning – What’s happening in the EU economy? Part 1

With a cash-strapped limited budget & time, this morning I headed out to get some real-time accurate data, to try and understand the bigger picture of what is happening within the EU. Also to evaluate what is not being recognised as newsworthy by mainstream media. Over the past few years of researching, I’ve developed a local network of alternative suppliers offline in addition to online research. With all available, the following was sourced to gauge some credible insight & understanding. This was all collated from Hampshire, approx 40 miles outside of central London. Total spend was £90 plus petrol.

The presentation is terrible quality, but it’s only for demo purposes, the important part is going through it all quickly to extract the core meaning. Which I will do next, starting with the Farmers Weekly journal that is the latest EU insight, leading on from the flooding in Spain affecting salad exports to the UK. UK is now apparently importing emergency salad crops from USA. Even though the EU has a ban on GM crops, which USA does not have. The idea is to hack through agriculture industry media as a starting point. Also aware my history knowledge of Spain is poor, so I found what I could to understand the culture more.


Young dreams & the key to success

Returning to the key for unlocking a mind in crisis mode of what to do…Conceiving a vision – looping back on visiting the theory and vision to expand it further in consciousness.


Where to travel next from lessons learned in experience? ….Going back in time.

As a hot-headed 20 something I thought it would be easy to make it to the top, in some ways it was, all you have to do is hit targets and wangle a way up the ladder. Connect with the right decision makers and give them what they are looking for in an employee. That part is easy, the tricky aspect is finding a job you love that makes all the effort worthwhile. Sometimes the money just isn’t enough, depending on how much a person loves money. Although money is necessary in order to do things. It all costs one way or the other.

I’ve even tried running my own business, dealing with employees was something else. The personal issues take up so much time and ended up making me feel more enslaved in responsibility to them, over the desire to be running the business. The bickering between personality clashes, the outside friendships that form, then fall apart and enter the business space. I became more interested in the phenomena of the nature of human systems than in running a business within an economic system.

‘Finding the job you love’, this is hard if you don’t know what you want to do, haven’t found your niche or lightning bolt of inspiration. There have been many things I’ve wanted to try and have, yet never right as a long-term fit. People have said “it’s about paying the bills, not teenage dreams”.hmmm. Is it? How uninspired and defeatist.

The teenage dreams were there, they all got tested, not one was as I had expected it should be. The only satisfying job has actually been becoming a mother, it was unexpected and arrived when 26, straight after the honeymoon. It’s the best job because it’s interactive, challenging, constantly changing and it runs in line with nature. There is so much to learn, understand, overcome, manage, problem solve, juggle and succeed in. Fascinating watching someone you love evolve and find out who they are and what they are not. Most importantly who they want to be, their will is the most intriguing aspect of interpretation. Both my children say they are my social studies, but don’t mind, I’m learning who they are. They have already learned who I am, in fact, they taught me. The empirical learner.

In 11 years of learning in this job, the best lesson has been not to have expectations of outcomes. Yet still to dream of new experiences, having faith the outcomes will be worth conceiving a dream. For the dreams push the boundaries of experience, that is all someone can hold on to in allowing the experience to unfold. The visions keep changing as the experience unfolds, conscious of the changes being signs of gaining wisdom. The wisdom is the lesson from taking the risk in daring to dream. It flows ever so naturally when fear is removed. Fear is the constant removal I make from my experiences; so I may experience more wisdom. Learning insights of wisdom is my true dream job, there are always risks involved. I guess I’ll always have to dream bigger if the wisdom is to expand. Fear will have to be removed.